Posted June 1, 2003
Keep Your Eye On The Goal
There's a story that if there were two doors into heaven, one marked "Heaven" and the other marked "How To Get Into Heaven," more people would be lined up behind "How To Get Into Heaven." We tend to be a goal-oriented society that loves learning "how to" do things. However, putting this knowledge into practice is the next, and most important, step. But many of us enjoy the process of learning more than the actual doing or the achieving of the goal.
I find that to be true of many of my clients. They're focused on how they're going to accomplish something. The process of reaching their goal is their main thrust. For instance, when I work with smokers, I use the phrase "becoming a non-smoker" more often than "quitting smoking," because "non-smoker" is the actual goal. I find that if a person is focused on "quitting smoking," they won't easily reach their true desire, of being a non-smoker. They'll always be "quitting" and won't have accomplished the "being quit."
The same is true of people who wish to lose weight. If they're concerned with diets and just losing the weight, once they reach their desired weight they generally go back to their old way of eating and gain it all back. Instead of putting so much energy into the process, they should be focused on the end result of being at their goal weight and what it will take for them to remain there. It may entail changing eating habits, attitudes towards food, eating less, or exercising more. In other words, thinking and acting like a slender person instead of a dieter.
Remember that wherever a person's attention goes, energy flows. William James, psychologist, said "What holds attention determines action." Having the attention on the process tends to keep us in the process, and never reaching the goal. We can learn how to do something, but we have to then put the knowledge into practice and change the way we think and behave so we actually achieve our desired result.
The steps we take to reach a goal are important, as long as they don't become the objective. There's a fine line we need to walk between figuring out what we need to do to manifest our intention, and not concerning ourselves with how something will manifest. Once we put our desire into Mind, then we need to have faith that our creative mind will find the way for it to become real. We need to take action toward the goal, while trusting that our subconscious is also active in discovering the best way to manifest it. For instance, if a person wants a job change, they should begin looking at the want ads, send out resumes, and make contacts, while knowing that their creative mind is also seeking the best job for them.
Figure out what changes in beliefs, attitudes, and habits need to happen for your goal to manifest. Do you want to lose weight? What would you be doing as a slender person? Do you want to have more self-esteem? What do you need to change in the way that you talk to and treat yourself? How would you act with higher self-esteem? How would your attitudes be different with that reality? How are you going to feel once your goal is reached? Is there any part of it that's scary to you?
Then write down the steps that you need to take to get to your goal. What are the attitudinal changes? What habits or behaviors do you need to alter? What baby steps can you take that let you change slowly, consistently, one item at a time? What affirmations do you need to use? Any actions you take in the physical world communicate to the subconscious that you really want your desire. In meditation or self-hypnosis, imagine you have accomplished your goal and notice how you feel. Mentally repeat your affirmations as you're going to sleep at night.
They say that the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. You could study how to take that first step from now until the end of your life, but that won't get you any closer to your goal. Take the first step, then the next, keeping your attention on your goal. In this way, with each step you are getting closer to your desired outcome and creating the life you want for yourself.
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Copyright Ó 2003 Linda Ann Stewart