Posted September 1, 2002
What False Ideas Do You Believe?
A client came to me with very low self-esteem. In our consultation, she stated that her parents had told her that she was "worthless," she'd "never amount to anything," and they "wished she'd never been born." She wondered why she'd sabotaged her professional career, tried to avoid attention that could further her career, and had trouble with relationships. The trouble was that her subconscious had accepted her parents' edicts as fact, and was following its programming.
No matter what she tried to accomplish, her subconscious was acting on false information about her as if it were true. It viewed everything about her through the incorrect lens of those ideas. If she began to succeed, it said, "No, you can't. If you do, you'll violate the beliefs of worthlessness that your parents taught you." When she tried to assert herself, her subconscious held her back with fear, because she'd disagree with what she'd been told about herself. She attracted friends and lovers who echoed her parents' ideas, putting her down and belittling her. All of this was her subconscious mind manifesting her belief, or lack thereof, of her self-worth, and making sure that she stayed within the boundaries of its information.
The subconscious mind will act on an inaccurate concept as if it were true. If you've accepted an idea that you can't lose weight (stop smoking, make money, succeed, can't paint or anything else), then your subconscious will make sure that the belief gets justified. These may be attitudes that were handed to you by parents, teachers, friends, family, or society and because of the emotional impact, you soaked them up like a sponge. From then on, the subconscious will view everything in your life through these attitudes and make sure that they're confirmed. It'll attract situations that will verify your beliefs.
Even if there's an experience that could change your mind, because of the programming, your subconscious will only accept the information that would validate your preconceived notions. For example, Jo might receive a compliment from the boss on her work. But because she doesn't believe she's that capable, she'll ignore it, telling herself that the boss just said that to make her feel good.
The good news is that these false concepts can be changed. It takes persistence and consistency, but by using affirmations or self-hypnosis, you can change the incorrect facts. The first step is to recognize what erroneous ideas you're acting on in the present. Where are they holding you back? Without identifying the problem, you can't move to the solution.
Examine the thoughts that come into your mind when you're about to succeed at whatever goal you have. If they're negative thoughts about you or your goal, those are the incorrect assumptions you've been acting on. Then create a positive statement that counters the negative one. This is your affirmation that you use whenever you think of your goal. You can also use it in self-hypnosis when your subconscious is more receptive.
My client and I worked to improve her self-esteem, convincing her subconscious that her parents were incorrect in their assessment of her. They'd done the best they could with their background, but that they were wrong when they'd said those things to her. She began to do things that were more self-affirming, and soon had a promotion at work. It took some time, because the programming had been there a long while, but soon she attracted new friends who appreciated her. And as her opinion of herself improved, so did her entire life.
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Copyright Ó 2002 Linda Ann Stewart