Posted August 1, 2006
A Starter Guide To Self Improvement
Staying calm, composed and maintaining strong self esteem in today's tough environment can be difficult but is not impossible if you follow a few simple guidelines. Here are 6 tips you can use as a starter guide to self-improvement.
Everything and everyone else around you can affect your self-esteem. Other people can deliberately or inadvertently damage your self-image. Unchecked people and circumstances can ultimately destroy your self-esteem and pull you down in ways you won't even notice. Don't let these influences get the best of you. But what should you avoid?
1 : A Negative Work Environment
Beware of a "dog eat dog" environment where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive and working extra is expected and not rewarded. In this environment no one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch, dinner, and stay at work late into the night. Unless you are very fortunate most of the time you will work too hard with no help from others around you. This type of atmosphere will ruin your self-esteem. This is not just healthy competition, at its worst it is brutal and very damaging.
2: Other Peoples Behaviour
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers - whatever you want to call them, all have one thing in common - an overriding desire to prosper at the expense of others. Avoid them and do not be tempted to join them. They may get some short-term advantage with their behaviour but deep down most are very insecure, unhappy and ashamed of their behaviour. For most their self-esteem disappeared a long time ago. Seeing someone like this prosper is sickening but do not join them - you are better than that!
3: A Changing Environment
In today's fast moving society it is difficult if not impossible to avoid change. Changes challenge our paradigms and tests our flexibility, adaptability and alter the way we think. Changes can make your life difficult and may cause stress but, if it's inevitable, you must accept it, don't fight it and in time find ways to improve your life. Try to manage change and try to avoid multiple changes at the same time. If a particular change can't be avoided welcome it. Change will be with us forever, we must learn to live with it.
4: Past Experience
We all carry "baggage" - past experiences which have molded us to who we are today, but some people live in their past experiences - usually something that hurt and still hurts. It's okay to cry out when you experience pain but don't let pain dominate your life as it will transform itself into fears and phobias. If something painful happens, or has happened to you, find a way to minimize the effects. Discuss it with a friend, a family member or a professional if necessary and move on. Don't let it continue to dominate your life and dictate your future actions. Because something bad has happened doesn't mean it will happen again. Learn what you can from any bad experience and move on.
5: Negative World View
The television news is full of doom and gloom and it is true that around the world there are many people suffering war, famine or other natural or man-made disasters. Whilst I do not suggest you should not care and do nothing, remember that there are many beautiful positive things happening too. Don't wrap yourself up with all the negative aspects around the world. Learn to look for beauty too for, in building self-esteem, we must learn how to be positive in a negative world.
6: Determination Theory
Are we a product of our biological inherited characteristics (nature) or a result of the influences we absorb throughout out lives (nurture)? I believe how we are is due to a mixture of both nurture and nature and as a result our behavioural traits are not fixed. Whilst it is true that some things are dictated by genetics (for example race, color and many inherited conditions) your environment and the people in your life have a major effect on your behaviour. You are your own person, you have your own identity and make your own choices. The characteristics your mother or father display are not your destiny. Learn from other people's experience, so you don't suffer the same mistakes.
Are some people are born leaders or positive thinkers? I don't believe so. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self-esteem and drawing on positive experiences for self-improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. No one will come to you and give you permission to build your self-esteem and improve your self. It is in your control.
It can be hard to keep positive , especially when others and circumstances seem to be conspiring to pull you down. You need to protect yourself and give yourself a chance to stay positive. Improving your self-esteem gives you that protection.
One way to stay positive is to minimize your exposure to harmful influences while using affirmations to boost the positive influences in your life. Constantly reminding yourself of the good things in your life will keep the impact of negative influences to a minimum.
Copyright © 2006 John Edmond
John Edmond writes on self help, and self esteem at BuildingSelfEsteem.info. To improve your self esteem get your free copy of The Affirmware "7 Part Affirmation Course" from BuildingSelfEsteem.info/affirmations.php now.
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