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Posted June 1, 2002
Roles We Play and What We Believe Which Makes Us Play Them.
by Robert Elias Najemy
Here we supply you with a short list of roles or personas and their core beliefs. We have grouped the personas under various names. Perhaps, in some cases, only one or two of the names might be applicable.
1. The Good, Righteous, Spiritual Person
a. I am worthy and safe if I am (or appear to be) good, right or
2. The Perfect, Capable, Strong Person
a. I am worthy and safe if I am (or appear to be) perfect, strong or
3. The Victim, Abused, Unjustly Persecuted
a. Others create my reality; they are to blame for my situation.
b. The wronged person is right and worthy because the wrong -doer is wrong and evil.
c. I am not worthy of something better than this.
4. The Weak, Incapable, Fearful, Dependent, Child
a. I am not capable of coping with life by myself.
b. Life is difficult.
5. The Guilty, Sinner, Bad, Unworthy
a. I am guilty, unworthy, evil, a sinner.
b. I do not deserve love, acceptance or help from others or God.
c. I am in danger (without protection, vulnerable to punishment)
6. The Parent, Teacher, Savior, Responsible for others and everything
a. I am responsible for others’ reality, including their happiness, health, security, success, well being.
b. Others cannot proceed or take care of themselves without me.
c. If others are not well, I am to blame and have failed.
7. The Rebel, Reactionary, Challenger, Competitor
a. My freedom is in danger.
b. I must fight for my freedom, safety or self-worth.
c. I actually need others.
8. The Intelligent, Informed, Superior, Counselor
a. He who knows more is superior.
b. If I show them that I know more than they do, they will love me and I will be worthy and safe.
9. The Indifferent, Irresponsible, Free-Moving, Disruptive, Insensitive, Lazy
a. Whoever has responsibilities and / or does not fulfill them is in danger.
b. I will suffer or fail if I take on responsibilities.
10. The Intimidator, General, Dictator, Aggressor, Abuser
a. My safety and / or self worth are in danger.
b. I must protect myself and others in the battle of life.
c. Power and the offensive are the solutions.
11. The Interrogator, Critic, Mr. Right
a. I am worthy when others are wrong.
b. Others must answer to my questions.
c. My self worth depends upon my being right and others being wrong.
12. The Aloof, Distant, Loner, Silent One
a. I can protect myself from others by not emotionally interacting with them.
b. I am worthy when others seek my attention.
11. The Spouse, Husband, Wife
a. My self worth is dependent upon how well I am accepted and
recognized in the role of the spouse.
b. I must be accepted as a spouse in order to be worthy and safe.
12. The Woman, Man
a. My self-worth is measured by how much I am accepted in the role of a woman / man.
b. My self worth is decided by how much I am respected and desired by the opposite sex.
Any particular person may, however, in his self-analysis break these major roles into a wide variety of parts, which differ in numerous ways.
We can see there are various ways of understanding and labeling these personas. It is not so important what we name them, but that we recognize their existence and then learn to identify them, understand them, accept them and gradually help them to function harmoniously within us.
Copyright Ó 2002 Robert Elias Najemy All Rights Reserved
Robert Elias Najemy is the author of over 600 articles, 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony and 20 books; sold over 100,000 copies. His book, The Psychology of Happiness, is available at
HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html or click on the book image to the left. You can download FREE articles and e-books and get guidance at HolisticHarmony.com.