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The 10 Commandments Of Self-Esteem


Posted May 1, 2001

Repair, Renew, and Re-Capture
Your Power

Myriam Maytorena

Power is an interesting word. It speaks of energy, action, and ability. Personal power is the ability and energy to effect action in our world. That action can have an inward or an outward focus. To be empowered is to have the energy to act upon our environment.

Many of us experience times when we feel that every action is an effort and a push beyond our personal limits. We may feel drained or pulled in so many directions that we are unable to do the most simple of tasks.

Some of us may have experienced the effect of being with others and feeling our energy being drained away as if in the presence of a psychic vampire. You know the feeling. Those interactions which do not recharge both people in the interaction but are literally a draining of our own personal power.

There are several factors that cause us to loose power and feel unable to recharge our proverbial battery. Some of these factors are self driven and some are other driven. In either case, the time may come when we are so spent of energy that we must withdraw and recharge.

Factors creating dis-empowerment:

1. The inability to receive energy from others
2. The constant giving of energy to others
3. The inability to protect oneself from psychic vampires
4. The black hole effect

The Closed System: The Inability to Receive Energy from Others

Sometimes in the course of our nurturing we have learned to become a closed system. We neither reach out to others or allow others to reach to us. We expect everything within to be in a constant state of stasis. Either we have learned not to trust others to be nurturing or we have learned that we do not need others. Neither one of these expressions of energy is life enhancing. In fact, a closed system will in time start to run out of internally generated energy and start to slowly die. These are the eyes that you see in the children who are placed in group care where there is no adult nurturing or interaction. Without loving touch and interaction, the body may survive but the soul sinks deeper and deeper within until it becomes such a small point of light that it can not even be ignited by another. Fortunately, very few of us have been cursed with such a learning process.

The Giver: The Constant Giving of Energy to Others

Many of us are taught to be other driven at all times. We spend all of our energies serving others. We scrub the floor, make the beds, feed the kids and get equality out of our heads. Many in the service industry have been forced into a way of life where the whole day is spent catering to others and at the end of the day there is just a sinking into bed where renewal only comes through fitful sleep. Many single mothers who work in the service industry are so depleted that they have no way to recharge themselves and grow weaker and weaker as the years pass until they are wracked with dis-ease and pain. Dis-eases that are often symbolic of this energy drain include Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Osteoporosis, Fibromyalgia, Crone's Disease, Arthritis -- the dis-eases that reflect a draining of power.

The Vulnerable: The Inability to Protect Oneself from Psychic Vampires

Psychic Vampires comes in all shapes and sizes. We are usually not trained to be aware of the most dangerous ones. Let me give you some of the signs that will help you recognize the Psychic Vampire:

a. the victim -- this person always has something awful happening to them. There lives are spent in some sort of crisis that will require the intervention and help of another. If you have a lot of the Giver as your power function Psychic Vampires disguised as victims will seek you out like a bee to fresh blooming rose.

b. the ain't-it-awful -- this person loves to hear victim stories. They will nod there head intensely as you tell your most horrific story and then breath in deeply and say "ain't if awful". It is easy to become caught into this game because we think that we are sharing our pain with a witness and should feel empowered but what happens is after this kind of interaction we actually feel like we have been drawn through a mental wringer and every last drop of energy is squeezed out of us.

c. the bully -- this person will scream and yell and threaten until you are laying on the floor all depleted. Energy is pulled from you with each cruel word. This vampire can be so warped that it could happen that the abuse leads to physical violence. Many of the care givers will use this vampire trait in situations to replenish themselves -- being meek and modest at work as they tend to the needs of others and totally abusive to family and friends.

d. the joker -- the funny clown who zings you with witty put downs and then invites you to laugh at your own victimization in the name of humor is a deadly vampire and is to be avoided if at all possible. This person will publicly humiliate you with the twist of words and humor and then make you feel like a fool if you protest. Many comedians step on stage with this mask as they feed off the pain that is covered by laughter. When you laugh when you want to cringe or strike back you have been drained by a psychic vampire joker.

e. the intellectual -- Ah, the intellectual is hard to resist. This is the know it all who loves to strut there superiority through knowing more than you do about everything. If you happen to be a little more knowledgeable than they are they will quickly change the subject to something where they are superior. Often teachers or gurus will use this mask of the psychic vampire to feed off the students. When you hear corrections that make you feel less rather than challenging you to be better you have met a psychic vampire masquerading as an intellectual. When you feel facts spurting out of a mouth that implies you lack you know that you are being bamboozled by the vamp.

With all vampires there is a desire to make you vulnerable so that you have a hole in your spirit that draws your energy out rather than creating a circle of energy that feels that you are both being renewed. When you are in a state of discomfort you know the vamp is drawing energy.

The Bottomless Pit -- The Black Hole Effect

Sometimes we may have been so damaged through years of being drained that it seems like our needs are infinite. No matter what we do we are like a black hole that keeps pulling in energy but there is no renewal. We may without knowing it have become psychic vampires ourselves. In fact, most psychic vampires are not doing things out of evil intent (although I think I may have met one or two in my life). When through circumstances we have not learned to renew, recreate, rebuild and empower we feel like we are forever drained and nothing will fill us up so that we can just function with normal contentment. When this happens, it means that we need to do some repairs so that we can become full again and all power doesn't keep leaking out of ourselves into an infinite universe.

Repair, Renew, Re-Capture

Repair and Renew

When we have a hole in our aura or spiritual bubble, no matter what we do our power will seep out of us and we constantly have to be looking for new energy. Some techniques to repair this include healing of the aura by an energy practitioner, different forms of on-hands body work, and self-repair.

You do not have to go to an aura healer to have your holes patched up. We have an amazing ability to self-repair. The use of ritual and meditation can help you repair the leaks in your own power container.

Using the method of meditation that works for you, go to a deep relaxed state. If you have not learned to meditate, use the following technique:

Meditative Technique: Sit comfortably with loose clothes, feet on the floor, hands resting comfortably on your lap palms up. Close your eyes. Then breath in to a count of four through your nose and then breath out to a count of six through your mouth. Don't worry about doing anything right or wrong just breath in and out as suggested and count as you breath. As you concentrate on your breathing you will start to relax.

When you are relaxed:

Picture a point of white light in the center of your belly right below your navel. It is a small point of pure white light. Then just let the light in your mind's eye and your body's feeling expand outwardly as an expanding sphere until it encircles you to about 3 feet from your body. Feel the light as it infuses your total being from the center out to the 3 feet. Then expand your awareness of the sphere of light to about 15 feet. Relax and just be in this sphere of pure white light. Let it be one with you. If you are comfortable you can let it expand to what ever dimensions that feels comfortable -- even infinite awareness. When you feel safe and comfortable imagine the sphere coming back to surround you at the three feet from your body awareness. This healing white energy from you soul connection will effectively repair any holes or tears in your aura and make it impossible for others to enter without your permission.

Come back up from a state of relaxation knowing that you are whole, complete and your energy container is perfect and enough. You will have also connected with the energy source and have a renewed sense of energy.


In order to prevent attachments to negative energy forces, it is important to recapture energy that has been stolen from you or that you gave away and thus gave up your own personal power.

After you have spent some time in the repair phase, and when you have plenty of time with no interruptions (Don't laugh, you can give yourself an half hour to do this work.) begin your recapture process.

First, go to a relaxed and meditative state.

Repeat the following as a mantra three or four times until you can feel it vibrating in your being: I take back my power! That is all there is to it. State that you personally take back your power. After you have done a sort of global power recapture and given yourself permission to regain power it is time to do some individual work.

Has your mother been draining you for years? Has your spouse been taking and not giving? Has a sibling been sucking the blood from your life? Have your children refused to let you have your own personal space and time? Is your boss running you into the ground? Did a friend hurt you deeply? Did someone publicly humiliate you? Were you the brunt of someone's twisted humor? Has some other person violated or victimized you?

Imagine yourself standing in front of the person who took your power or to whom you gave your power. Let the image become stronger then say to that person standing in your mind's eye: "I take back my power!"

Do it with each person that has hurt, used or disempowered you either intentionally or unintentionally. You will feel yourself starting to charge up with each one you confront in your visualization.

Realize this: You do not have to literally confront the person who took away your power to recapture it! You can do it strictly in a healing meditative state and your mind, spirit and soul will experience it as a personal renewal and recapture of personal power.

After you have gone through the people on your list -- and we all have a list -- again do a general statement of power recapture. Before you come back out of your visualization make this statement or affirmation to the universe: "All power that I have had stolen or given away is now returned to me!"

Relax. Renew. Repair. Recapture. You may at this time drift into a time of sleep or bring yourself back up from your visualization by starting to watch your breathing again and naturally returning to an alert state.

When you see or communicate with the individuals that you faced in your visualization in your inner voice -- not spoken aloud -- state: "I take back my power!" You will feel energized and more content. The dynamics of the relationships will change and the vampires will go seeking other victims or choose to interact in a reciprocal energy exchange. You will be drawn to people who are energy healthy and want to share rather than take. You will feel the wonder of giving and receiving in a way that will improve your mind, body and spirit. Healing will be your gift. The healing of self and the healing of others will vibrate from your aura.

When one has recaptured and learned to renew personal power, one is able to share in a natural flow of giving and receiving that is healthy for all concerned.

How are you coping with power?

Copyright Ó 2001 Myriam Maytorena
All Rights Reserved

Myriam Maytorena is a noted spiritual coach and consultant that supports people in removing obstacles so they can reach their goals and surpass their dreams. In 90 days, Myriam has helped clients locate careers they love, find intimate relationships, and have their needs met by family, friends, and co-workers just by asking. Having a life you love starts when you believe you can. Myriam helps you believe that you can. To Learn More Visit: Manifest Reality or send an e-mail to


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