Posted June 1, 2005
The TRUTH About What REALLY Causes Negative Thoughts
Do you feel that your negative thoughts are holding you back from being happy in life? You're about to discover HOW you can still live HAPPILY when things don't go your way... even if your life is filled with conflict and turmoil right now... and you can't see a way out.
Are you a SLAVE to your circumstances? What I mean is, do you let the ups and downs of life control how you feel inside? If you do, don't worry... you're not alone.
Most people believe that it is the events that happen in your life that make you feel a certain way. For instance, you get a promotion... you feel good. A plane crashes... you feel bad. But what if that promotion added a significant amount of pressure to your job which made each day more stressful than the next? And what if the plane that crashed was an unmanned test plane built to save thousands of lives?
Despite what you may have heard, events themselves have NO MEANING. It's true. It is not the events (the things that happen) around you that control how you feel. It's something else entirely.
If the circumstances in your life are not what make you feel good or bad, then WHAT DOES?
If you're thinking... "my mother in-law"... bzzzzz... sorry, that's not it either. It is NOT the people in your life OR the events that happen around you that control the way you feel.
Instead, the answer is... YOU. Only YOU have the power to control your feelings. I'll prove it...
Imagine you're laying in a hammock on vacation in Hawaii. It's a beautiful day and there's a slight breeze. It's just the right temperature and nothing could make the day any more perfect. Then suddenly you get a call on your cell phone from your boss with news that a major corporation has just bought out your employer and hired a completely new staff... leaving you without a job!
Immediately your imagination becomes flooded with thoughts of your endless search for a job. You picture bill collectors 'knocking at your door' demanding last month's mortgage payment and the bank coming to repossess your home! And so on, and so on... until almost instantly you start to feel nauseous.
Did you read that last part about when you start to FEEL nauseous? What's happening in reality is you're sitting on the beach enjoying your vacation... but what's happening in your imagination is a series of negative images or 'pictures' caused by this sudden turn of events.
Now how could that be? If events around you control the way you feel... then how could you feel so miserable when in REALITY, you're laying in a hammock on a beautiful beach?
Simple. Because you let your imagination take over. Instead of thinking about reality, (the beautiful day on the beach) your mind was focused on the terrible images of what MIGHT happen when you return from your vacation. (Bill collectors, job hunting, etc.)
So what's a better way to handle the situation? Simply change the 'picture' in your imagination. Just think of how you'd feel if, instead of dwelling on the negative events that MIGHT happen in the future, you thought of something positive instead.
And don't forget, these negative events haven't even happened yet! There could be a sudden turn of events in your favor and you would've ruined your vacation for nothing!
So instead of instantly reacting to an event, just change the 'picture' in your imagination. You can do this by thinking of a good memory from your past that makes you feel warm and secure.
Now I know you may be thinking... "Yeah right, easier said than done," but just think of the benefit of doing this...
Let's say you receive the bad news from your boss, and instead of letting yourself get worked up over it, you think of your most cherished memory in life... the one that instantly makes you feel good. How can you feel miserable when you're basically 'reliving' this comforting moment from your past? You can't!
You will immediately start to feel very good. That is how powerful your imagination is... if you decide to use it the RIGHT way.
Make no mistake: I'm not telling you to be completely oblivious of the problems around you, but the bottom line is this: you can only make rational decisions when you're thinking CLEARLY. And how do you expect to think clearly when your imagination is filled with negative 'pictures' that create fear and anxiety?
When your head is clear, you can then begin to devise an action plan. If you lost your job, start by 'sprucing up' your resume. Do you know anyone who could help you out? What are your skills? Could you get a great referral from your previous employer? These steps can only be accomplished when you're feeling good about yourself. If you're not, it shows through. And in this case, it would make finding a job much more difficult.
What it all boils down to is this... if you let the ups and downs of life control your thoughts and feelings, you're destined for a very unhappy and unproductive life. But if you learn to CONTROL your negative thoughts by replacing them with more positive ones, it will be much easier to LEARN from your experiences, instead of dwelling on them.
Copyright © 2005 Larry Bilotta
Larry Bilotta is the nation's leading authority on understanding people. He's been helping people build their self esteem and overcome their negative feelings for over 12 years! To learn how YOU can instantly eliminate painful feelings in 20 seconds, stop dwelling on your problems and START feeling better about yourself, get your FREE 7-day email course at SelfEsteemSecrets4Women.com/SelfEsteem.html.
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