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The Psychology of Happiness: Understanding Our Selves and Others


Posted April 1, 2003

Create Happiness With A
Positive Life Outlook

Robert Elias Najemy

The mind is the molder of our personal and communal world.

Every event we perceive through our senses is analyzed, evaluated and registered in the mind as pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. Our belief systems seek to determine whether each perceived input is something, which will "protect" or "endanger" our security, self-worth and / or freedom.

When life's events are interpreted by our programmed mind as threatening, fearful or unpleasant, we experience a state of anxiety and tension. When anxiety and nervous tension become a chronic situation, then the body and mind are gradually worn down into a state of weakness and ill health. A psychosomatic illness is created.

The energy flow, concentration and clarity of the mind are disturbed. Organs begin to malfunction. Negative emotional states such as depression, bitterness, fear, anger, hate, envy, jealousy and resentment dominate the mind. Our relationships begin to deteriorate and a feeling of alienation can set it. It is time for "Attitude Therapy."

Attitude Therapy

In "Attitude Therapy" we transform attitudes, beliefs or perceptions, which prevent us from experiencing health, happiness and harmony. Negative, life-destroying attitudes are replaced by positive life-building ones. Let us consider some of these beneficial attitudes.

I Alone Am Responsible for My Life, Health and Happiness

We create our health, illness, happiness, unhappiness, unity, alienation, joys and problems through our ways of thinking, behaving, eating, sleeping, living and interacting. When we eat poorly, do not exercise, sleep too little or too much, do not breathe properly and waste our mental and emotional energy on so many superficial pursuits, we will naturally lose our health and peace of mind.

We Create Our Reality In Four Basic Ways

a. Our choices, thoughts, actions and reactions of the past create corresponding results in our present life and psychosomatic state. (If in fact there is such a reality as reincarnation, then our past will also include all our choices of past lives.) Thus, a considerable amount of our present reality is dictated by our previous actions, choices and reactions.

b. We have chosen (as souls) to learn certain "lessons" at each stage of our evolutionary process.

1. If we have chosen to learn to learn self-acceptance it is natural to experience rejection from others so that we can develop inner self-worth.
2. If we have chosen to develop self-confidence, we will naturally have chosen to experience an absence of external support.
3. If we have chosen to learn forgiveness and unconditional love, we will have made a secret "soul agreement" with others to harm us so that we can then develop that type of forgiveness and love.

c. Our present conscious and subconscious beliefs are perhaps the greatest cause of our preset reality. We attract to ourselves behaviors, events and life situations, which in some way "mirror" or "vibrate sympathetically" with how we think and feel in the present. Our present positive and negative conscious and subconscious beliefs, desires, needs, expectations and emotions such as fear, guilt, shame, love, peace and anger all combine to attract to us a corresponding external (and certainly internal) reality.

d. In addition to attracting certain realities, we also interpret what is happening according to our beliefs. We give greater or lesser importance to specific issues and thus allow them to affect our state of mind to a greater or lesser degree. When we give great importance to our appearance or to how others perceive us or behave towards us, then our reality will change greatly every time we receive an input concerning our appearance or what others think.

Of these four factors we have control over only the last two at this point in time. We cannot change our past choices and our soul lessons are an integral part of our presence in these bodies. Thus we are left with changing our present conscious and subconscious beliefs. Firstly this will allow us to attract more positive behaviors, events and situations toward our being. Secondly, we will perceive life more positively so that even when we are not getting our preferred reality we feel secure, worthy and free to be our selves.

This is our point of power.

Changing what we believe about life, others and most important of all, ourselves.

Some of the alternative ways of perceiving life are:

1. I Alone Am Responsible for My Life, Health and Happiness.

2. We have the inner power and resourcefulness to deal with whatever life brings us.

3. Our self-worth is a function on our inner being and has nothing to do with appearance, affluence, position, knowledge or what others think.

4. Life gives us exactly what we need to create happiness and to continue our evolutionary process.

5. We are free to live our lives according to our own inner ideals and goals and to change our reality if we chose to.

6. We deeply love and seek to help our loved ones, while simultaneously remembering they are souls in the process of evolution who have chosen heir specific lessons.

7. We are all we are all eternal souls in the evolutionary process of rediscovering and manifesting our inner divine nature.

8. Each being is divine creation and deserves our love and respect including us.

9. Our life purpose is to individually and collectively transform our reality into a more enlightened and loving one.

10. Our basic lesson is Love.

11. All of this universe is an expression of the one Universal Omnipresent and Omnipotent Being - Consciousness.

12. We as co-creators with the Divine have been created to bless, spiritualize and transform the material world.

Copyright Ó 2002 Robert Elias Najemy
All Rights Reserved

Robert Elias Najemy is the author of over 600 articles, 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony and 20 books, which have sold over 100,000 copies. He is the Founder and director of the Center for Harmonious Living in Greece with 3700 members. His book, "The Psychology of Happiness," is available at or click on the book image to the left. You can download FREE articles and e-books from where you can also receive guidance on life issues.


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