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Recommended Reading
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The
Cedarfire Newsletter Volume 10
, Issue 9
"What To Do With Negative People" I tend to be positive, consciously looking for the good in most situations. Years ago, I had a friend who appreciated that about me, until things took a tumble in her life. Then, she got upset when I didn't participate with her when she griped and complained about her situation. Over a period of months, she began to put me down, stating that I wasn't "being real." Eventually, she eliminated me from her life. It took me a long time to figure out why that happened, and how I manifested her change in attitude towards me. "Like attracts like" means that people with similar characteristics are attracted to each other. But there's also a saying, "Opposites attract," which states that people with different temperments are drawn together. Which is true? In regards to positive people, both. Positive individuals appeal to both positive and negative people. In general, people tend to gravitate towards those who are more positive and optimistic. They're more expansive, warm and accepting of others. When optimists get together, they reinforce their upbeat outlook, while the more negative folk enjoy the warmth for awhile. But soon the more pessimistic disposition begins to sour on all that light. It pulls them out of their comfort zone. Soon, they may start trying to drag you down, focusing on what's wrong, rather than what's right. They might play the "ain't it awful" game, bringing up everything that bothers them. If you try to suggest solutions, they'll find fault with every one. They want you to take part in their complaining to justify their position. Resist the impulse. It won't do either of you any good. If you refuse to join in, and continue to express your brighter perspective, they might turn on you and attack you. They might start to resent you, and begin to pick on you. It may be small derogatory statements, or it could be full blown attacks. They may accuse you of being shallow or not taking things seriously. At this point, realize that their comments are trying to put you on the defensive and don't let them succeed. It can be even worse when something goes wrong in their lives. If you don't sympathize and wallow in their misfortune with them, they get offended. Remember another old saying, "Misery Loves Company." When you don't keep them company in their gloom, they get upset. They don't understand how you can look for the silver lining or maintain a positive attitude in the face of difficulties. Since they're in the habit of riding the waves of their emotions, being tossed this way and that, they expect you to act the same. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is not try to help. Simply be neutral and noncommittal, letting them vent until you can disengage. When you remain positive, you're showing them a different way of responding and they don't appreciate it. They want to react the same way they always have and don't want to make the effort to search for a solution, to seek change, or improve their sense of well-being. Without realizing it, they choose to feel helpless. With my friend, her rejection wasn't a result of anything I'd done. It was her inability to change her perspective. I consciously chose to be positive. Pessimism, as well as optimism, is a learned behavior. You cultivate one or the other, either deliberately or subconsciously. Eventually, one becomes a habit, and is the automatic way you respond to your world. When you find negative people in your life, realize that it's probably due to the fact that you are a more positive person. Copyright © 2009 Linda Ann Stewart A nationally known speaker, life coach, hypnotherapist, and author, Linda-Ann Stewart empowers people to discover new possibilities and realize their full potential. For a copy of her free ebook, "Secrets To The Law Of Attraction," visit Cedarfire.com/SecretsToLOA.shtml.
Watch the video, Part 1 & 2, of Dr. Wayne Dyer and Dr. Bruce Lipton discussing the power of belief.
"Learning To Love:  . As in her first book, in her role as an animal communicator, she details some of her conversations with pets, seeking information from them for their human companions and to understand their perspective.
Many times, the animals reflect their human's issues and emotions as a way to help them. When Maia learns this, she can inform the owners and give them specific guidance from their pets. But this book goes into much greater depth about the general messages the natural world has for humankind. We're told to be more in the present and listen to our hearts. They also explain, from their perspective, a new way for us to view our role in the greater scheme of the universe, and how to improve our lives. Another wonderful aspect of this book is the description of how Maia communes with creatures. She gives a commentary on what she does prior to her conversations, and how it feels when she is dialoguing with the natural world. And several of the animals give advice to their humans, through Maia, as to how it would be easier to communicate with them. Reading this book made me much more aware of the intelligence in the plants, insects and animals around me. It's a sense that I've had off and on throughout my life and I'm now reminded to feel more connected with the essence of the surrounding world. For more information about her services, visit MaiaKincaid.com. To order this book, click on the image of the book on the left. For past issues of the newsletter, visit Free Archives Library. Subscribe/Unsubscribe Information
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