From childhood, we're taught to worry about our lives, the people around us, the state of the world. Mom would say, "Of course I'm worried about you, I care about you." We then patterned ourselves on that model of caring. As children, if we worried about our grades, or about doing something wrong, then the adults considered that we were more mature. Our society perceives people who worry to be more earnest, responsible, or concerned about conditions. If we don't show our apprehension about a serious situation, people sometimes perceive us as being flighty, a dreamer, not connected with reality, or worst of all (to them) - "an optimist."

But worry is a useless waste of energy. Most of what we worry about can't be impacted by our being anxious about it. So far, we haven't had a nuclear war, so I wasted all those hours reading the Civil Defense pamphlets on how to "duck and cover" and how to make a fallout shelter. Taking realistic actions (if there are any) to prepare for a future event is one thing, obsessing over it after we've done what we can or over what we can't change is another. And because the subconscious follows the conscious mind's lead, it figures if we're worrying, we must want more to be apprehensive about.

When we worry, we're simply living in fear. And FEAR stands for "False Evidence Appearing Real." Fear of a possibility that may, but generally doesn't, happen. If there is an outcome that is ordained (such as our getting older or inflation), nothing we can do will change it and we might as well enjoy each moment of life.

Mentally chewing a possibility over and over, and not allowing ourselves to have fun because maybe something bad might happen, is a waste of time and energy. Worry is immobilizing. It actually keeps us from being productive, efficient, and pro-active in the present. Universal energy is diverted to a cycle of anxiety instead of into being more creative and finding solutions.

Worry can become a habit, and gives us an illusion of control over circumstances beyond our influence. We can only change our responses and ourselves. Some chronic worriers, in quiet times of happiness, will actually spoil it with an anxious thought of "What should I be worrying about?" I almost superstitiously felt that if I worried, the feared outcome wouldn't materialize. Finally, I realized that I could more effectively use positive affirmations to bring out the best.

The good news is that this habit can be broken. Remember what The Serenity Prayer teaches. "God grant me the serenity accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." The challenge is to "know the difference."

Start writing down your concerns. This brings them into a more rational frame of mind, and you can assess their reality. Challenge them with the idea, "How likely is it that this will happen?" If it is a possibility, what's the worst that can happen, and what would you do? Can you change the situation? If not, every time you begin to chew on it, remind yourself that you will deal with it if it happens. Find an affirmation that helps reinforce something positive happening.

Answer: Not necessarily. Many people want to know where a problem got started, and for some it's helpful to know. But generally it isn't imperative to understand what happened to release the issue. The subconscious mind knows where the problem got its start, and what might have reinforced it. And the subconscious mind knows what to do to release and resolve it. You may not even consciously know what to do about it, but the subconscious mind knows how to accomplish it. But it has to be directed to do so, and you have to be willing to let go of the emotion associated with it. And the subconscious will only heal it if it feels it's safe for you to do so.

This is a clever little book to help reduce the power your inner critic/judge has over you. The author explores the various strategies of what he calls your "gremlin." Its purpose is to convince you to feel bad and suppress the real you. For instance, the gremlin lies to you about your nature and the nature of the world, with myths such as "You're unlovable," and "Worry is good."

The book includes exercises to help identify the way your gremlin affects you, and ways to deal with it. Although the author states that the gremlin isn't the inner critic of some psychology theories, I couldn't tell the difference. The ways the gremlin and inner judge try to control us, and ways to deal with them are similar.

Humorously written, imaginatively presented, this book will give you the tools you need to identify and tame this self-sabotaging part of your personality. By doing so, you'll be able to experience more of the fullness of life.