Jeff and I had Christmas dinner with a life long friend of mine, who also lives in Sedona. Our Christmas was quiet and enjoyable with her. On New Year's Day, Jeff and I took a pleasant hike along Oak Creek.

A nice bit of recognition came my way. Along with two other facilitators, I was profiled in the county health department newsletter that went to all health worker offices.

In that class, I went through a course of training to strengthen my muscles and improve my aim. The same is true of our thoughts. Every thought we have is creative, but most of the time, the subconscious doesn't act on them. It acts only on the thoughts that have the most emotion, power and repetition. Repetition of the same thought allows the concept to accumulate energy. The subconscious recognizes the ideas that we aim at the most and strives to hit that target.

As we understand this concept, we learn that our thoughts have power. "Thoughts are things," as some of the modern mystics have said. Ernest Holmes, founder of Science of Mind, stated that "The more power one gives to his thought - the more completely he believes that his thought has power - the more power it will have."

When we focus on a goal, we must let the subconscious mind work out the way to manifest it. Training ourselves to trust the subconscious to figure out how to manifest our desire frees it to be more creative and respond more quickly. Ernest Holmes also said, "Trained thought is far more powerful than untrained." Just as I trained in archery, and improved with practice, your results will improve as you train your mind.

But just as I would miss the mark if I lost my concentration when I was shooting an arrow, so can trained thought miss the mark if we focus on the wrong thing. If we've trained ourselves to focus our mind on what we want, then the subconscious manifests it. It doesn't care whether the goal is good or bad for us, it just responds to the amount of energy we put into the thought.

I've known many people who trained their minds to manifest their desires, then forgot that if they focused on the wrong thing, their subconscious wouldn't discriminate and would create the negative idea as well. Resentment, bitterness, ill will, feeling victimized, and jealousy boomeranged quickly, and these people experienced falls from grace, lost jobs, alienated friends, financial difficulties, etc. When we tune our minds, and sharpen our thinking, we have to be careful of what we contemplate because all of our thought then becomes more powerful.

This may seem scary to some. "What if I think the wrong thing?" Mainly, it's when we dwell on the negativity and it gets entrenched that it rebounds on us. Our saving grace is that the subconscious acts on the tendency of all our thoughts. Therefore, if we generally focus on positive thoughts, a few fleeting negative emotions, like anger, grief, etc., won't gather much energy. As long as we are working on releasing any negativity, the process keeps the energy moving and it won't gather any intensity.

Answer: From my own experience, when you're making significant changes, it may take the subconscious some time to do so. I remember it took about four months of daily affirmations before I saw results, but the results were staggering. You have to continue affirmations even after you start to lose faith, because the follow through also impresses the subconscious.

Also, you need to let the subconscious mind do its work. If your conscious mind keeps asking "when, how?" it draws energy from the subconscious. I know it's hard not to wonder (believe me, I know), but that's one of the most important parts of it, and I think, the hardest. Realize that even though you aren't seeing results, the affirmations are working. They're just making changes in the hidden recesses of your mind, and waiting until you let go of the "when, how?" When you're able to release the concern about it, knowing that they're working and will show results, then the subconscious can put all its energy into making the changes.

Unfortunately, all the other books by this author are out of print. I'm delighted to find that this one is still available. The title would be a fantastic mantra for most of us. We spend too much time trying to please other people. In doing so, we twist ourselves out of shape, compromise our deepest beliefs, abandon and stifle our uniqueness.

This book is all about our relationship to ourselves and others and how to be true to our real selves. Ms. Cole-Whittaker systematically goes through the different areas that we restrict ourselves to gain approval, such as abundance, guilt, health, relationships, competition and dismantles our excuses for doing so. In her chapter on "Everyone Can Win," she addresses the dissatisfaction of employees, and gives guidance to them and their bosses about how to improve their fulfillment.

Each chapter ends with some self-awareness questions and strategies, and includes three affirmations to implement the changes. This book will change the way you think about every area of your life. And as we know, when you change the way you think, your life changes in response.