Every so often, someone comes in who wants me to wave a magic wand over their head and make all their problems disappear, without them having to participate. They don't want to have to alter a belief, attitude or behavior, but have the problem somehow erased. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. For any change to occur, they have to make a corresponding internal and external commitment to that change.

For instance, a smoker who says they want to quit must truly decide which they want more, to smoke or not to smoke. Once they've chosen to stop smoking, they have to learn new ways to cope with life's challenges, and dedicate themselves to this new lifestyle. Not only do they have to refrain from smoking, but they have to make the inner changes (and they are many) that are necessary to achieve the eventual goal of becoming a nonsmoker. If they try to quit, without these inner changes, then at the first sign of stress they'll start up again.

All change starts from within. Initially, a person may just know that something has to improve, and may not even know how to go about it. In this case, they need to figure out what's wrong and what they need to transform that will make it better. Many times, people want the outer world to be different without doing any inner work. But in every instance, progress begins with changing a thought, belief, attitude, and then a behavior before improvement can be seen in the physical world.

For example, someone with low self-esteem, who feels like they're not good enough, or not worth anything, may not realize that they need a greater sense of self-worth and not know what to do to reach it. All that they recognize is that they feel like they don't deserve anything nice, and that people take advantage of them. The first step in healing this is to stop putting themselves down and talk to themselves in a more compassionate and supportive manner. But they must also change some of their behaviors to mirror this new inner dialogue. No matter how difficult it is, they must make sure that they begin to stand up for themselves.

This doesn't mean that they should indulge themselves in unhealthy behaviors. For instance, I've known people who have decided that they deserve to go out and spend $100 on a meal, even if it means they can't pay their rent, phone bill, or buy groceries. They think that's the way to improve their self-image and feel better. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. A person with a healthy self-worth will deny themselves immediate, and transitory, gratification to be able to enjoy a sense of security in the long term.

The same is true for anyone who wants to reduce weight. Rewarding themselves with food, or using it to mask emotions, isn't going to bring any lasting improvement. They must learn healthy eating behaviors, and listen to what their body (not their emotions) wants to eat, along with reducing portion size, and starting to exercise. They also have to learn to deal with their feelings without using food as a crutch. If the inner attitudes aren't dealt with and adjusted, no diet in the world is going to permanently keep off the weight.

Edwene Gaines, prosperity teacher, recommended meditating on this question, "What do I need to change within myself in order to ...?" Sometimes it may mean being willing to let go of a relationship, move, or change jobs. It always indicates changing some attitude or belief on the inner plane, while making changes on the physical plane that show your commitment to the shift in your consciousness.

Answer: It isn't easy to reclaim yourself and your self-worth. It's probably one of the hardest things a person can do, and yet, it's at the foundation of everything we experience. Which may be why it can be so hard. Imagine that your being was fragmented in childhood because of your family. You're going to have to find those pieces, or make new ones, to put yourself back together again. However, each tiny step you take will take you in the right direction.

Sometimes, there will be two steps forward and one back. That's normal. Not only are you simply firming up your progress by taking the step back, but the subconscious may feel uncomfortable with your progress. It doesn't like change, and it's trying to keep you safe in the environment that you no longer live in. It just needs to get the message that it's safe now for you to have your own beliefs, a sense of self-worth, self-trust and confidence.

When you dedicate yourself to be there for yourself, the subconscious mind and the Universe will support you. It's not that there won't be any bumps along the way - that's how we get stronger. But if you are committed to your well-being, and do all you can for it, then you will begin to feel better.

This won't happen overnight. It will take some time, and it takes consistency. An affirmations that you can use is: "I accept my True Worth."

I love the prosperity writings of Joseph Murphy and Catherine Ponder. They are loaded with belief changing techniques and affirmations. This book comes to the subject from a slightly different perspective, and it was one that helped me release limited attitudes that I didn't even know I had.

In the first chapter, the author explains that we are immersed in the substance of prosperity. That we cannot be separated from it, and we already have all the substance right where we are. As the book progresses, Eric Butterworth addresses many of the incorrect ideas that we've accepted, including our lack of self-worth. In the chapter on visualization, he describes it as "seeing from a consciousness of ever-present substance" instead of mainly picturing material objects.

Although it's a book mainly about prosperity, it also is one that raises the reader's spiritual awareness. Each page is packed with attitude shifting and consciousness expanding ideas and concepts. Anyone who reads this book and practices the concepts will experience an incredibly improved quality of life.