Now, years later, if I spot a brindled Great Dane, I have an instant panic response. It doesn't matter that the original attacker has gone to doggy heaven, and that I live in a different state. My subconscious mind compares the present-day animal to the past, says, "Danger!" and causes me to react as if this dog is as hostile as the one was decades ago.

Much of the time, we don't respond to what's actually happening in the present. Our subconscious mind always compares our current experience to our past circumstances. It then labels the situation as something benign, neutral or threatening, and causes us to act accordingly.

Epictetus, the second Century Greek philosopher said, "People are disturbed not by events, but by their view of those events." The way we perceive what is happening in our lives determines our reactions. We tend to filter our current events through our history. If a previous incident was emotionally or physically hurtful, then our subconscious believes that any similar situation will be as well.

For instance, our boss says "You could have done a better job on that report." If, in the past, we've had people criticizing us for not being better, then we feel like a failure with the boss' comment. The subconscious has filtered the comment through the past, and come to the conclusion that we're worthless. It's likely that we'll act according to that belief, do even worse next time, and never live up to our potential. Conversely, if we take the comment at face value, we'll use it as a challenge to do better the next time. This removes the emotional baggage that drags us down and clogs up our responses.

Shakespeare said, "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Whenever something takes place in our lives that causes us to feel upset, we need to assess whether what we're feeling is appropriate for the current situation. Are we responding to what was said or done in the present, or are we reacting to the past?

At the time of the Great Dane incident, I had a small poodle that I adored. We played tug-o-war with a pull-toy, nose to nose, growling at each other. For several months following the attack, whenever I'd play with my dog and hear her growl in fun, like the Great Dane did in his attack, my stomach would tighten up and I'd feel scared. I knew my poodle wouldn't hurt me. Even if she accidentally grabbed a finger, she'd instantly let go. So over a few months, I was able to release the fear when she and I played. I was able to change my filters with her.

Answer: You ask an excellent question. The answer, unfortunately, isn't cut and dried. All three ways of phrasing affirmations have their uses. I most often use the first person (I), so that I identify with what I'm affirming. We tend to become what we identify with, and this is the way most affirmations are worded. This gives the subconscious guidance on what you want it to do.

However, when an affirmation is hard to accept, or our subconscious has some resistance to the affirmation, using a more objective pronoun is very helpful. Using "you" when stating the affirmation becomes a command to the subconscious. This pronoun is especially helpful when you want to directly order the subconscious on what to do. It forcefully breaks up any opposition to the affirmation. If you state and affirmation this way while looking at yourself in the mirror, it becomes very powerful.

When you're too emotionally involved in the issue the affirmation is dealing with, the use of the third person pronoun "he/she/your name" is called for. Speaking of yourself in the third person helps when you need to deal with the issue a bit more objectively. It's especially helpful when you need to improve your self-approval to accept the affirmation.

If you state an affirmation in each of these ways, you'll notice a difference in the way you respond to it. Pick the way that seems to resonate with you the most at the time.

Most of us deal with stress, and don't know what to do about it. In my practice, I help people with this issue all the time. I've created a mainstream audiotape/CD to help relieve this common problem. Using it will increase your efficiency and productivity, improve your health and well being, and bring you a greater sense of peace and harmony.

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