In this situation, many people would say, "The Universe is testing me." But the Universe never tests us. The Universe wants the best for us, and is always pouring the optimum circumstances into our lives. But our old, negative thought patterns restrict that good, and what we get is as much as we can accept. Think of a hose spraying a full stream of water. Now imagine beginning to kink the hose until there is only a trickle of water flowing out. That is how our negative beliefs and ideas restrict the good the Universe sends our way. All the good is gushing full pressure, but we've limited how much flows into our lives.

Before it goes to all the effort to change a thought pattern, our subconscious checks to see how dedicated we are to the change that we wish to make. This is especially true when we make a choice that is in direct opposition to a habit, belief, attitude, or behavior that we've had for a long time. In the subconscious, the dominant idea, the one with the most energy, emotion, attention, or repetition is the one that the inner mind acts on. Wouldn't you? Let's imagine that someone instructs you to "Open the left door" ten times, then says "Open the door on the right." From habit, you reach for the door on the left and they say, "Oh, okay." Would you think they were serious the next time they said to open the door on the right?

A person making a lifestyle change will have many opportunities to test their dedication. If there's any ambivalence, the subconscious will sense that as indecision. The subconscious will figure that the person doesn't really want the change, so throws all sorts of challenges to assess how committed they are.

When a person begins the process to quit smoking, generally they have several relapses before they actually achieve their goal. Their subconscious tests them to find out how dedicated they are. With each relapse, they learn something more about what works for them. Once they finally and irrevocably decide to stop smoking, their subconscious supports them in direct proportion to their committment to being a nonsmoker. This is why some people can stop smoking "cold turkey," and it takes other people weeks or months or years to succeed.

When my car kept breaking down, I didn't slide back into the old, negative thinking. I stayed on course to the new pattern of thinking. It wasn't easy, but over a period of months, the severity of my car repairs decreased. With each breakdown, I had to choose whether to buy into the old thought pattern or to remain true to the new one.

This is a great book for anyone with a controlling person in their life. Patricia Evans has written a couple of other books that I've recommended, "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" and "Verbal Abuse Survivor's Speak Out." "Controlling People" goes into greater detail of why these people act as they do. For them, the people close to them are cardboard characters that they project their own thoughts onto. They expect people to agree with them at all times, and to read their thoughts about what they want. The old "If you loved me, you'd know what I want" is their theme. And if the other person doesn't agree, or reflect the controlling person's ideas, then the controlling person feels betrayed and many times will fly into a rage. Not only does this happen in personal relationships, but it also occurs in society, different cultures, and religions, resulting in bigotry, prejudice, stereotypes, and sometimes death. It all has to do with trying to control others so that they think like the controller, so the controller feels comfortable and safe.

This book was an eye-opener for me in understanding various people I've had dealings with. I recommend it to anyone who has a boss, relative, friend or partner who is controlling.

To read more about it, click on the book image to the left.